LE-HIGH! 

Well I am on a plane right now flying back to LA from NY, which sucks because I totally missed the Nazi Pope by a week. And since I have joke about him, the least I could do is check out his deal at Yankee stadium. I’ll have to catch him when he’s back again in 13 years.

So…last night the show was by far the best college humor live show to date.

It was a powerhouse comedy line up. That’s right  people: POWERHOUSE!

The line up: me, Aziz Ansari (Human Giant) Bill Burr (HBO Special) and Kevin Hart (Host of comic view, and a shit load of movies).

We performed in a theatre with low ceilings, which is key to a successful comedy show, the rider was perfectly taken care of (dried fruit everywhere), and my GPS didn’t get me to lost.

I accidentally pushed the “I don’t want any tolls” button so the beginning of my trip involved no highways and it took me 3 hours to get to Jersey from the Bronx. NOT GOOD.  When I was told to “turn left into the woods” I decided it was time to recalculate my route. 

 There were about 300 students and I would say most of them were high or drunk and very excited about “4-20!”  One girl with blood shot eyes came over to me as I was selling CD’s and said “ You should have to need to drink with us drunk”. I slowly walked away. Although she was cute. 

We end the tour  at University of Tampa. My girlfriend and her parents will also be there. I guess I can’t do any of my “sex with girlfriend jokes”.  So…I’ll just stick to my “sex with boyfriend jokes.”

I need to fucking pee so bad but there is too much turbulence. 

Till next time! 

YORK COLLEGE!!!

The show last night was awesome. It was a small but excited crowd and several of the guys were wearing ties…just because. And I respect that.

However getting there was terrible and I am tired as balls! I had to fly from LA to Atlanta to Baltimore. And I sat next to a nun who smelled like moth balls and Jesus.

Then when I got to BWI I had to  rent a car and drive to York at 5pm. PERFECT DRIVING TIME.  WHEN ITS OPPOSITE DAY. 

Then this morning I woke up at 4am to fly back to LA to do a commercial at noon. Which was cool …its basically me at a comedy club doing jokes about products like Wendy’s, and Brawny.. Here are the jokes that they didn’t let me say:

Whenever I’m lonely I always go to Wendy’s because that way no matter what… I end my night with a cute red head. WHO’S NOW FIFTY THREE AND HAS BEEN EATING FAST FOOD FOR THE LAST FORTY YEARS. 

Brawny’s slogan is “THICKER AND MORE ABSORBENT” and that is why whenever I use Branwy… no one gets pregnant.  

Tomorrow I wake up at 5am to fly back to HOT-lanta and perform all weekend.

WOO TO COMEDY!    

GPS MOTHER FUCKER! from Dan Levy on Vimeo. 

REGGIE AT YORK from Dan Levy on Vimeo. 

SUNY UPSTATE SOMEWHERE

How was your St. Patty’s day?! I celebrated the drunken holiday at the Buffalo airport enroute home to LA after a five-day stint of shows, NYC, discussing my hair, planning a trip to Asia, discussing my hair, dinner with my mom, and more discussion of my hair. This been has a been long trip with several  5 am wake calls almost every morning and I know I am over tired because when the driver dropped me off this morning at the airport I gave him a twenty-dollar bill (instead of a five) and said, “see you tomorrow buddy”. Then in my head I was like “What… I’m never going to see this guy ever again”. But then he said in a kind of creepy way “Yeah you will Mr. Levy. Yeah you will”.  

I’m also not feeling that good so I couldn’t drink green beer but I was able to snort green afrin. So that’s something.

Last night we performed at SUNY Fredonia. (I may have spelled that wrong).

The show was supposed to be me, Na’im, and Christian Finnegan however it ended up being just me and Christian because Nai’m has a “U.S AIRWAYS hook up”. Which means he always flies standby, which also means sometimes he doesn’t fly … like yesterday.

He got to the airport at 6 am and didn’t get on any flights so the college humor tour  last night was more of a college humor two-man show, which was a shame because it was a really good time. We performed in this new state of the art theatre in a front of a few hundred students including a senior in high school, a 35 year-old dude who said “my girlfriend goes here because I like banging 19 year-olds”, a freshman with a detective-ish mustache, and one of the girls who won shameful trivia told us that she used to have a vagina ring!

But don’t worry Na’im I wrote your name on a paper plate and took a picture with it so it was like you were totally there.

Anyways…to sum it up: Christian was really funny, Tour manager Beth brought her boyfriend, the subway backstage kicked ass and my new blimpie joke got major LOL’s.

I was  happy.

Back stage at FREDONIA from Dan Levy on Vimeo. 

The next show is April 1^st outside Baltimore so my plan: after the show head downtown and act out a scene from the wire. FY-EYE: I’m playing Marlow and Nikki Glaser will be Snoop.

Peace out.

Hey people. I need to apologize for not blogging as much as I am supposed to… but it’s been kinda crazy. I hosted MTV spring break 08’ in Miami’, so I was working on that for the past 2 weeks in between college humor live shows and other stuff. It airs March 29^th and I’m sure it will then re-air every other hour for the entire month. It was good/insane, as one would imagine. I was the sidekick on the new show “Pretty Smart” hosted by Tara Conner. (Miss USA who got super famous after doing drugs and having to go to rehab). This is a picture of me trying to bite her boob. She is very cool, even though she wouldn’t do meth with me and the spring breakers. BORING! The point of the show is to see if people are “pretty smart” or “just pretty”. Most were just pretty and one didn’t even know what “ocean was behind them”.

My favorite part was the SILVER PEOPLE who were the LIVE set.  Instead of building a set MTV just hired hot people to stand in the background, look good, not move, and of course be spray-painted silver. They were hilarious.

Silver Guy! from Dan Levy on Vimeo. 

Silver girls dancing from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

It was really funny and very awesome as was the 500 screaming drunken spring breakers who smelled of yager and called me “bro”.

So while I was working on that we had two college humor shows and let me break them down for ya.

Bethany College: Me, Chris Porter, Dan Boulger, and Reggie Watts performed in West Virginia and it was about as much fun as you think a show would be in West VA. The hotel was scary and the phones didn’t work. We all thought we were in a horror movie and we were.  Chris Porter is no longer with us.

TENNESSEE TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY:

Untitled from Dan Levy on Vimeo. 

Me, Nyim, Nikki, and TJ Miller from Cloverfield. This show was great. We gave away some NEW puma merch and it was our first show with TJ. (He will be doing a few more dates with us this semester.) TJ and I decided to fly in together on the same flight because the flight was direct and left at 11. This caused several problems.

1) We landed at 6 and the show was at 7.

2) The school was an hour drive from the airport. 

3) The GPS we rented didn’t recognize the town the show was in (Cookeville). And I don’t really blame it.

Surprisingly we made it while talking about a lot of comedy, JJ Abrahams, and of course vlogging. 

Tomorrow night we all get back together and perform in Queens.  WHAT!  WHAT! It should be a very fun time. That is all for now. I promise to blog more. I love you.