CollegeHumor LIVE

Im shooting a movie in New Orleans called “Mardi...

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:23:04 -0400

Im shooting a movie in New Orleans called “Mardi Gras”. This is my costume. I play an asshole who runs a wet t-shirt contest. Good times! And lots of crab meat!

The college tour is over for now but don’t be sad! I will...

Sat, 24 May 2008 03:14:57 -0400

The college tour is over for now but don’t be sad! I will be in NYC all summer long shooting the “I Have To Go In A Minute Show” for college humor. Its gonna awesome! So get ready for some daily Dan Levy comedy Monday-Friday!

LE-HIGH! Well I am on a plane right now flying back to LA from...

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:54:36 -0400

LE-HIGH!

Well I am on a plane right now flying back to LA from NY, which sucks because I totally missed the Nazi Pope by a week. And since I have joke about him, the least I could do is check out his deal at Yankee stadium. I’ll have to catch him when he’s back again in 13 years.

So…last night the show was by far the best college humor live show to date.

It was a powerhouse comedy line up. That’s right people: POWERHOUSE!

The line up: me, Aziz Ansari (Human Giant) Bill Burr (HBO Special) and Kevin Hart (Host of comic view, and a shit load of movies).

We performed in a theatre with low ceilings, which is key to a successful comedy show, the rider was perfectly taken care of (dried fruit everywhere), and my GPS didn’t get me to lost.

I accidentally pushed the “I don’t want any tolls” button so the beginning of my trip involved no highways and it took me 3 hours to get to Jersey from the Bronx. NOT GOOD. When I was told to “turn left into the woods” I decided it was time to recalculate my route.

There were about 300 students and I would say most of them were high or drunk and very excited about “4-20!” One girl with blood shot eyes came over to me as I was selling CD’s and said “ You should have to need to drink with us drunk”. I slowly walked away. Although she was cute.

We end the tour at University of Tampa. My girlfriend and her parents will also be there. I guess I can’t do any of my “sex with girlfriend jokes”. So…I’ll just stick to my “sex with boyfriend jokes.”

I need to fucking pee so bad but there is too much turbulence.

Till next time!

I was in a hit and run. I was not the guy who ran.

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:02:39 -0400

HIT & RUN! from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Me bad vlogging with long hair.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:39:34 -0400

Me doing a bad vlog. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

YORK COLLEGE!!! The show last night was awesome. It was a small...

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:47:00 -0400

YORK COLLEGE!!!

The show last night was awesome. It was a small but excited crowd and several of the guys were wearing ties…just because. And I respect that.

However getting there was terrible and I am tired as balls! I had to fly from LA to Atlanta to Baltimore. And I sat next to a nun who smelled like moth balls and Jesus.

Then when I got to BWI I had to rent a car and drive to York at 5pm. PERFECT DRIVING TIME. WHEN ITS OPPOSITE DAY.

Then this morning I woke up at 4am to fly back to LA to do a commercial at noon. Which was cool …its basically me at a comedy club doing jokes about products like Wendy’s, and Brawny.. Here are the jokes that they didn’t let me say:

Whenever I’m lonely I always go to Wendy’s because that way no matter what… I end my night with a cute red head. WHO’S NOW FIFTY THREE AND HAS BEEN EATING FAST FOOD FOR THE LAST FORTY YEARS.

Brawny’s slogan is “THICKER AND MORE ABSORBENT” and that is why whenever I use Branwy… no one gets pregnant.

Tomorrow I wake up at 5am to fly back to HOT-lanta and perform all weekend.

WOO TO COMEDY!

GPS MOTHER FUCKER! from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

REGGIE AT YORK from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

SUNY UPSTATE SOMEWHERE How was your St. Patty’s day?! I...

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:41:00 -0400

SUNY UPSTATE SOMEWHERE

How was your St. Patty’s day?! I celebrated the drunken holiday at the Buffalo airport enroute home to LA after a five-day stint of shows, NYC, discussing my hair, planning a trip to Asia, discussing my hair, dinner with my mom, and more discussion of my hair. This been has a been long trip with several 5 am wake calls almost every morning and I know I am over tired because when the driver dropped me off this morning at the airport I gave him a twenty-dollar bill (instead of a five) and said, “see you tomorrow buddy”. Then in my head I was like “What… I’m never going to see this guy ever again”. But then he said in a kind of creepy way “Yeah you will Mr. Levy. Yeah you will”.

I’m also not feeling that good so I couldn’t drink green beer but I was able to snort green afrin. So that’s something.

Last night we performed at SUNY Fredonia. (I may have spelled that wrong).

The show was supposed to be me, Na’im, and Christian Finnegan however it ended up being just me and Christian because Nai’m has a “U.S AIRWAYS hook up”. Which means he always flies standby, which also means sometimes he doesn’t fly … like yesterday.

He got to the airport at 6 am and didn’t get on any flights so the college humor tour last night was more of a college humor two-man show, which was a shame because it was a really good time. We performed in this new state of the art theatre in a front of a few hundred students including a senior in high school, a 35 year-old dude who said “my girlfriend goes here because I like banging 19 year-olds”, a freshman with a detective-ish mustache, and one of the girls who won shameful trivia told us that she used to have a vagina ring!

But don’t worry Na’im I wrote your name on a paper plate and took a picture with it so it was like you were totally there.

Anyways…to sum it up: Christian was really funny, Tour manager Beth brought her boyfriend, the subway backstage kicked ass and my new blimpie joke got major LOL’s.

I was happy.

Back stage at FREDONIA from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

The next show is April 1^st outside Baltimore so my plan: after the show head downtown and act out a scene from the wire. FY-EYE: I’m playing Marlow and Nikki Glaser will be Snoop.

Peace out.

ST. JOHNS

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 02:04:28 -0400

Tonight’s show was in Queens, NY at St. Johns University.

Driving to Queens. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

We had an awesome line up but the audience was “NOT GOOD”.

But it really wasn’t their fault. We have been doing this tour in theatres since the beginning and it make sense because it’s a theatre-ish show. We need sound systems, screens, and etc.

Apparently St. John’s thought other wise because they decided to put our show in their dining hall and then figure out the whole sound system thing while I was on stage. So that was fun. They also decided to tell us to “be clean” 3 minutes before the show started. Which was hard considering this was my set list:

1) Abortion.

2) Rape.

3) The abortion rape song.

TJ’s TV pitch! from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Avi “POWER AGENT” Gilbert was there and in typical agent fashion after the show said, “Well that turned out to be pretty sweet!” He then took the check and ran out. Sunday we hit up state NY with Christian Finnegan and… a theatre. Should be a hoot.

Hey people. I need to apologize for not blogging as much as I am...

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:12:00 -0400

Hey people. I need to apologize for not blogging as much as I am supposed to… but it’s been kinda crazy. I hosted MTV spring break 08’ in Miami’, so I was working on that for the past 2 weeks in between college humor live shows and other stuff. It airs March 29^th and I’m sure it will then re-air every other hour for the entire month. It was good/insane, as one would imagine. I was the sidekick on the new show “Pretty Smart” hosted by Tara Conner. (Miss USA who got super famous after doing drugs and having to go to rehab). This is a picture of me trying to bite her boob. She is very cool, even though she wouldn’t do meth with me and the spring breakers. BORING! The point of the show is to see if people are “pretty smart” or “just pretty”. Most were just pretty and one didn’t even know what “ocean was behind them”.

My favorite part was the SILVER PEOPLE who were the LIVE set. Instead of building a set MTV just hired hot people to stand in the background, look good, not move, and of course be spray-painted silver. They were hilarious.

Silver Guy! from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Silver girls dancing from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

It was really funny and very awesome as was the 500 screaming drunken spring breakers who smelled of yager and called me “bro”.

So while I was working on that we had two college humor shows and let me break them down for ya.

Bethany College: Me, Chris Porter, Dan Boulger, and Reggie Watts performed in West Virginia and it was about as much fun as you think a show would be in West VA. The hotel was scary and the phones didn’t work. We all thought we were in a horror movie and we were. Chris Porter is no longer with us.

TENNESSEE TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY:

Untitled from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Me, Nyim, Nikki, and TJ Miller from Cloverfield. This show was great. We gave away some NEW puma merch and it was our first show with TJ. (He will be doing a few more dates with us this semester.) TJ and I decided to fly in together on the same flight because the flight was direct and left at 11. This caused several problems.

1) We landed at 6 and the show was at 7.

2) The school was an hour drive from the airport.

3) The GPS we rented didn’t recognize the town the show was in (Cookeville). And I don’t really blame it.

Surprisingly we made it while talking about a lot of comedy, JJ Abrahams, and of course vlogging.

Tomorrow night we all get back together and perform in Queens. WHAT! WHAT! It should be a very fun time. That is all for now. I promise to blog more. I love you.

University of Arkansas

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:54:40 -0500

The 1^st CH-LIVE show of the spring semester was super fun!

The line up was Nikki –get ready to be glassed- Glasser, Reggie –expensive audio equipment- Watts, and John –heavily influenced by David Brenner-Mullaney. I was honestly surprised by how great the show was considering it was the first time I’ve been to Arkansas. Nothing against the state, but the only thing I can think of now when I think of Arkansas is Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris.

Who WERE NOT at the show!

We had about 300 students who were fairly good at shameful trivia… but very good at laughing.

I would say, last night was the best CH-LIVE audience for sure.

My favorite part of the performance was a couple in the front row. Throughout the entire show they kept on screaming stuff out and I was convinced that the boyfriend was a convicted felon and a possible crystal-meth dealer and of course his girlfriend was a crystal-meth user. So that went on throughout the night and when I brought her on stage for shameful trivia and asked her name she answered “CRYSTAL”. FOR REAL! INCREDIBLE!

Tomorrow we go to West Virginia and I don’t really know what to expect, except maybe a waffle house.

My new opening act.

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 21:07:25 -0500

This guy came up to me after the show asking if I can take him on the road. Here is his pitch:

This kid wants to go on tour with me. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

My new head shot for 08! So…whose looking to cast a...

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 09:17:48 -0500

My new head shot for 08! So…whose looking to cast a rapist?

NOTE: If you ever take a NEW YEARS vacation to the natural hot...

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 01:44:00 -0500

NOTE: If you ever take a NEW YEARS vacation to the natural hot springs in central california DO NOT SQUIRT HERBAL ESSENSE into the jaquzzi to make it “smell better”.

But more importantly… its a new year and I have a lot of NEW shows coming up and there going to be great! Or at least thats what Im telling myself. Here is my schedule for the next few months. Im going to be performing with the college humor live tour in several new markets so I hope to see you all at the shows. During my time off from CH LIVE, I will be on my own tour as well. Email me for tickets to any of these shows.

Jan 17 2008Boston, MA.Comedy Connection “NESN TV TAPING”

Jan 18 2008Greenville, PA.Thiel College

Jan 22 2008 Brea, CA.The Improv

Jan 23 2008Hollywood, CA.The Improv

Jan 29 2008Fayetteville, AR COLLEGE HUMOR LIVE: University of Arkansas

Feb 01 2008 West Virginia COLLEGE HUMOR LIVE: Bethany College

Feb 18 2008 Rochester, NY St. John Fisher College

Apr 01 2008 York, PA COLLEGE HUMOR LIVE: York College

Apr 03 2008 Roswell, GA.The Funny Farm Apr 4-6.

B.U, the last CH LIVE show of the fall.

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 15:06:00 -0500

Dear blog readers,

Well we did it! The last college humor live show of the semester was last week at B.U and it was swee-wesome! I would have blogged earlier, but the day after the show I got home and moved. Pretty cool place…I’m not saying, “I made it”. But my new apartment… wood floors and running water. (NBD).

Boston is the city where I started doing comedy so it was great to be back even though it was twenty degree’s and three people called me a queer faggot.

We had a packed house and everyone loved Reggie, Dan, and Nyim.

Shameful trivia was AGAIN ridiculously shameful and I think those two Jewish freshman girls are still fighting over the puma bag.

Jew Girl 1: I want the bag to take on my birth right trip to Israel!!!

Jew Girl 2: I wanna take it home to long island!!!

Jew Girl 1: I give blow jobs at sleep away camp!

Jew Girl 2: Me too! Omg. We are so BFF now!

So thank you BU for coming out (especially during the night of a BU/BC hockey game) and supporting College Humor Live! I also wanna thank Beth, Puma, College Humor, all the comics, APA, and everyone who helped make CH LIVE happen this fall.

Dates for the spring are already coming in and the tour is only going to get bigger!

PS: To the jersey girl in the 6 1/2 year on and off long distance relationship…its time to give it up. That guy next to you at the show last week still wants a hand-job.

PPS: I am currently in physical therapy three times a week for the back injury I incurred while traveling all over the country for CH LIVE. The medical term is a “hip hike”. Basically my lower hip has shifted up, causing the muscles in my lower back to spasm.

PPPS: College humor is going to pay my medical bills because I do not have health insurance.

PPPPS: They do not know that yet.

PPPPPS: Now they do.

Get Excited!

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 21:49:47 -0500

The last college humor live show of the year is only 5 days a way!!!

University of Cinncy!

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 14:22:00 -0400

Colin post show at U.C from Dan Levy on Vimeo.
I’m sitting on my plane (DELTA) the morning after the big show in Cinncy. The show was really fun but I am in terrible back pain from traveling so much. This week I have been to 8 states in 7 days. I can’t bend backwards and I’m having this shooting pain on the left side of my lower back. I went to webmd.com to try to diagnose myself, but all I found was some video of an Indian doctor talking about AIDS.
But back to the important post-show info!

We performed last night to a packed house of 400 students. Which was pretty impressive, considering it was the Friday night of Halloween weekend. I guess seeing college humor live is more fun then seeing a 19 year-old freshman dressed up as the “anal sex mummy”. Apparently me and the students at Cinncy see the world differently.

Joe: the program director from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Me, Bougler, Reggie Watts (who got off the plane 20 minutes before his set), all had great sets. Shameful trivia was the most shameful yet, I sold a shit load of Cd’s, and Colin was hilarious.

Its really fun having him on the shows because more people come out, he’s ridiculously funny, and he makes fun of Boulger…a lot. He told him “you like a BYO point guard from 1978”.
I shot a lot of videos and took a bunch of pix. If you weren’t at the show…here is what you missed.

EXCITED U.C STUDENT from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Dan eats a sandwich from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

The show was NOT an 8. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Is this cop gonna use his tazer? from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

Reggie Watts - Post Show from Dan Levy on Vimeo.

KUTZTOWN UNIVERSITY = GOOD TIMES (kinda’)

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 22:37:00 -0400

Well if you’re into no cellphone service, hecklers, and corn… then you MUST perform at Kutzy U. The show started off perfect: big theatre, 200 hundred students, and subway sandwiches. What could be better? The students were also really smart (or at least a lot of them wore glasses) so it was a fun crowd, but half way through the show a student (not so smart and not wearing glasses) started screaming, “where’s Eddie Murphy?” Which doesn’t make sense for several reasons.

To which I replied “Well…its not 1984… and lets be honest we are at Kutztown U. Maybe if you did better in high school, went to a college that people outside of Kutztown have heard of, and had a time machine to go back to the 80s when Eddie Murphy actually did stand-up…Eddie MIGHT be here. But that’s the not the case, so why don’t you just shut up and LOL like everyone else.”

The crowd was behind me the whole show so they went crazy with applause after that and unfortunately for the Eddie Murphy fan…the college police removed him for disrupting the show. I was hoping they would use tazers like in Florida, but they didn’t. Damn.
Besides that little mishap, the show went great.

Nikki glazed the crowd, Boulger (who is recovering from a broken face. That is not a joke. He got drunk, fell, and broke his face.) was the funny jaded 22 year-old we all love, and Nyim Lynne killed.
I learned a lot from the students of Kutztown University:
1) They don’t wear shoes or sox… to shows.
2) Some of them dress in bear suits and have sex with each other.
3) They love free shit.
4)
Colin who lives in Maryland doesn’t realize his long distance relationship is ending very soon.
5) Some students will try to rape you on stage.

Next show is tomorrow! Woo hoo!

HAMILTON COLLEGE with a dailyshow twist.

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:00:04 -0400

Hamilton College was a pretty good time. I think it would have been a bigger show but we were competing with a farm party.

Yes, an actual party where students get drunk, dress like farmers, and then vomit on fake cows. Man I really wish I was still in college. My post - college farm parties are kinda creepy. (Its just me naked drinking milk).
The show was NOT an 8. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.But the students who did make it out… got to see a sweet ass show…we had Reggie Watts, Dan Boulger, and special guest Rory Albanese the co-executive producer of the Daily Show.

The students were pumped to see him perform and even more pumped to ask him for an internship. My biggest problem with the show besides the traffic on the way home…
Stuck in traffic after a show. from Dan Levy on Vimeo.was the tech guy.I couldn’t decide if he was fucking with me, didn’t understand how a show works, or if he was not the tech guy.

I say this because he kept randomly playing the same Justin Timberlake song before I introduced the next act and then during the beginning of the show he just turned off the lights for no reason.

I then had to continue to tell jokes in the dark. Thank god I am not a prop comic. But who knows? Maybe he was just laughing so much his brain turned to mush. I’ll go with that.
Shameful winner from Dan Levy on Vimeo.Next up KUTZTOWN U. I don’t know what to expect from this school at all …the name alone sounds like an anti-semitic vagina. Good times!

It happened & it was awesome. Thanks for coming.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:02:52 -0400

It happened & it was awesome. Thanks for coming.

Everyone’s favorite game: SHAMEFUL TRIVIA. Check out...

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 02:25:38 -0400

Everyone’s favorite game: SHAMEFUL TRIVIA. Check out Zack’s pecks. No one ever gets this question right.